Malcolm X (via amorestavivo)
This changed me.
What the fuck was I thinking? He totally broke my heart into pieces and I still was in love with him. Deep down, I knew one day he would see that he made a terrible mistake overlooking my potential. We spent way too much time together and it almost seemed like a lie when we told people that we weren’t together. People can see the love for each other radiating off of one and other and it baffled people as to how and why we were not a couple. WELL, 1. he somehow found some other chick who had the same background as him and 2. he claimed he didn’t feel for me like that anymore. For starters, this chick wasn’t shit compared to me. So, I told him straight which maybe, was a mistake.. I said “when you fall on your face and you realize she isn’t for you - I will STILL be there to pick you up” - dumb move on my part. I got taken advantage of for those 4 months. I then realized that he spends mostly ALL of his time with who….ME. He never really seen this girl. That’s when I knew I still had hope. He kept denying and hiding the fact and telling me “we are just friends and thats it” but, friends don’t LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT… friends don’t lay in bed together. friends don’t have sex and feel passion with one and other so cut the fuckery. It was such a horrible time but, I knew deep down - one day - he would open those gorgeous eyes I fell in love with and realize what a huge mistake he was making. This pain and suffering would all be worth it one day. He had me love drunk… literally. We drank at the bar almost every night. He was so sad inside… torn, I could see it. All his boys know and LOVED me… this chick he was seeing wasn’t shown off at all. His boys didn’t even know about her and that’s when I knew……..
The best day was when he told me she cut him loose…. “you’re nice and I like you but we don’t have much in common” ———- you stupid fucking girl. You just let one of the most solid guys go. He was kinda bitter…….
I later found out that, He let her go….. I was shocked at the turn of events. He said “she didn’t look at me the way you do”
thats when I sealed the deal, I knew it all along. It was all a test of patience and how much shit I can put up with. I always knew deep down there was something going for me with him. It burns when I still think of it.
The amount of alcohol I consumed during this time to numb my pain. The amount of mascara I’ve wasted from crying.. no one deserves to feel the pain I did.
It needs to rain before the flowers bloom..